A calm bedtime routine is three or four small things, done in the same order at the same time each night, starting about an hour before you want to be asleep. Most of them are free: turn the big light off, put the phone somewhere else, get warm, and give the evening one quiet signal that it is over.
We have tried the complicated versions. They last a week. What follows is the short one, with everything that costs nothing first and the few things that cost a little at the end.
Start with the time, not the things
Decide when you would like to be asleep and count back an hour. That hour is the routine.
What goes into it matters less than when it begins. The same starting point each night, weekends included where you can manage it, is what turns a list of nice ideas into a habit. Give it a couple of weeks and the first step starts to feel like a cue for the rest.
Four steps you manage every night are worth more than ten you have given up by Thursday.
Turn the big light off an hour before bed
This is the simplest change of all, and it is free.
A ceiling light tells a room it is still the middle of the day. Turn it off and leave one lamp on low, somewhere at or below eye level. The room changes at once.
A lamp you already own, moved to a low shelf or the floor beside a chair, will do this perfectly well. Where there is no socket, a cordless one earns its keep. Our Cordless Dome Table Lamp comes on with a touch of the base and throws its light down and outward, never into your eyes. The Moon lamp has three brightness settings, the lowest of them a nightlight glow.
Put the phone to bed first
Also free, and the hardest of the four.
Charge it outside the bedroom if you can. If you cannot, the far side of the room will do. Anywhere you would have to get out of bed to reach it.
Decide what replaces it before you take it away, or the first night will feel like a punishment. A book you are actually enjoying. The radio on low. A notebook, for writing down tomorrow's list so that you can stop carrying it around in your head.
Get warm, then get into a cool bed
Warmth is the oldest wind-down there is. A bath or a shower. A warm drink without caffeine in it. A hot water bottle. Thick socks.
The trick is to warm yourself rather than the room. Most of us settle more easily in a bedroom that is a little on the cool side, under covers that are not. So turn the bedroom radiator down and warm the bed instead.
This is where our Lavender Wheat Bag comes in. It takes a minute in an 800W microwave, holds a slow, even warmth, and gives off a soft breath of lavender as it settles. Slip it under the covers ten minutes before you go up, or rest it across your lap while you read. Follow the heating instructions that come with it, and test the temperature before it goes against your skin.
Give the evening one scent
Scent is the last step because it works as a signal. Use the same one at the same point every night, and keep it for evenings only. After a while it becomes part of the pattern, in the way the smell of toast belongs to the morning.
It does not have to be lavender. Choose something soft that you like and that does not shout. A wax melt is a gentle way to do it: light the burner when the hour begins and it will have scented the room well before you leave it. If you are new to melts, our guide to using an oil burner with wax melts covers the how.
One rule is not optional. Anything with a flame goes out before you go up. Blow out the tealight or the candle when you leave the room, every night, and never light one in the bedroom to fall asleep by. The scent stays behind for a good while after the flame has gone.
What we would choose
If you buy nothing at all: the same time each night, the big light off, the phone in another room, something warm. That is the whole routine, and it is free.
For warming the bed: the Lavender Wheat Bag, Gift Boxed, £17.95. Natural wheat with a soft lavender scent, one minute in the microwave, and it can be chilled in the freezer in summer.
For low light: the Cordless Dome Table Lamp, Brushed Silver, £12.95. Touch the base to turn it on. It charges by USB-C, so it can sit on a bedside with no socket near it.
For a bedside glow: the Fluted Cordless Table Lamp, Moon, £24.95. A plain round globe with three brightness settings, also rechargeable by USB-C.
For the hour on the sofa: the Cotton Tassel Throw, Oatmeal, £22.95. 100% cotton, 125 x 150cm, with a cream tassel fringe.
For the scent: the Ceramic Wax Melter & Four Soy Wax Melts, £19.95. A burner and four melts in one box. All it needs is a plain tealight.
There is more for a quiet evening in our Calm & Reset collection. UK delivery is free and takes 3–7 working days.
One thing we do not stock: an alarm clock. If your phone is your alarm, a plain bedside clock is what lets it leave the room. Silent analogue alarm clocks on Amazon are a good place to look. This is an affiliate link. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases, at no extra cost to you.